How to be a GOOD parent? Here are 10 tips for parenting in 2018!
A good parent always make the best decision for what’s best for their children. However, a good parent is not necessarily perfect! Everyone is flawed in their own way. Alongside with that, we have to accept the fact that no children are perfect either. So keep that in mind when we set our expectations for our children.
But firstly, we should set a high standard for ourselves first and be a good role model for them, and then our children second.
Most of them is not that easy and of course, not quick either. And possibly nobody will able to do all of them all the time. But if you able to keep striving your best on them, although you only can do some of them for some time, you'll still be moving in the right path.
Below are 10 parenting tips on how to acquire effective parenting skills !
1. Be a role model for your children
It’s obvious that you will be the first example for your children to follow.
Walk the walk. Don’t simply tell your kid what you would like them to be and do. Show them.
We, as human are able to learn by imitation. Psychologically, we tend to be programmed to repeat or imitate other’s actions in order to know and understand them and to include those values into our own. Youngsters particularly watch everything the way their old folks act and do.
So, be the person you would like your kid to be , respect your kid, show them positive behavior and good attitude, have empathy towards your kid’s feeling, and your children will do the same thing.
2. Be Loving and caring person
Shower your love on your children.
But you need to know right way to express your love to them. If you choose to indulge them with expensive materials, leniency, lower you expectation of them and simply over-protection of you kids, they will be spoil eventually.
However, there is no such thing like loving you children too much as loving them won’t spoil. Showing your feelings can be straightforward like hug them, spending some time with them, and please, do not neglect your child. Try communicate with your children by listening to their problems and opinions.
Showing these acts of affection will trigger the discharge of feel-good hormones oxytocin, opioids and prolactin. These neurochemicals will bring ourselves in a deep sense of calm, emotional warmth and happiness, from these the kids can develop acceptance and of course, a better relationship with you.
3. Positive Parenting
Give your kid positive experiences. they'll have the ability to experience positive experiences themselves and provide them to others.
If you provide your kid negative experiences. They won’t have right development necessary for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Have a tickle marathon. Spending time with them at the park. Laugh together with your kid. Go through emotional tantrum, and solve life problems together with the positive
Besides, these positive experiences do produce a good connections in your child’s brain psychologically, however they also form recollections or memories of you that your kid carries forever in life.
When it involves discipline, it kind of difficult to stay positive. However it's achievable by implementing positive discipline and avoid punitive disciplinary actions.
Being a decent parent means that you need to instill your kid the proper ethics and morals, in term of what’s right and wrong, good or bad choices. Setting the limits and being consistent is the keys to good discipline. Be kind and firm once implementing those rules. Focus on the reason behind the child’s behavior. And took it as an opportunity to learn for the future, instead of to punish for the past.
4. Being a safe Haven for them
Let your kid know that you’ll always be there for them by being responsive to the child’s signals and sensitive to their needs. Support and accept your kid as an individual. Be a warm, safe haven for your kid to shelter and explore.
Children raised by guardians who are reliably responsive have a tendency to have better and higher emotional development, social development and psychological health outcomes.
5. Communications and Integrating
A large portion of us definitely know the significance of communication. Converse with your kid and listen to them carefully.
By keeping an open line of communication, you’ll have a more robust relationship with your child and your child will come to you when there’s a problem.
But there’s another reason for communication — you facilitate your kid to integrate totally different components of his/her brain.
Integration is comparable to our body within which totally different organs have to be coordinated and work together to keep up a healthy body.
When totally different components of the brain are integrated, they will operate harmoniously as a whole, which implies less tantrums, more cooperative behavior and more empathy.
To do that, speak through troubling experiences. Inquire your kid to explain what happened and the way he/she felt. You don’t necessarily have to provide solutions. Just simply being attentive to them, speak and asking clarifying questions can facilitate them make sense of their experiences and integrate memories.
6. Being reflective
Most of us want to parent differently from our folks. Even people who had a contented childhood might want to change some aspects of how they were brought up.
But fairly often, after we open our mouths, we tend to speak a bit like our folks did.
Reflecting on our own childhood may be a step towards understanding why we tend to parent the way our folks tend to do.
Make note of things you’d prefer to amendment and consider how you'd do it any other way in genuine situation. Try and be aware, and alter your behavior the next time those problems come back up.
Don’t surrender if you don’t succeed initially. It takes time to observe. And lots of practice.
7. Your Own Well-Being
Focus and pay attention to your own well-being.
Often times, things equivalent to your own health or the health of your marriage are kept on the back burner when a child is born. If you don’t listen to them, they'll become larger issues down the road.
Take proper care of yourself physically and mentally. Take time to strengthen the relationship together with your partner. If these 2 areas fails, your kid can suffer, too
8. No Spanking
No doubt, to some folks, spanking will bring on short-term compliance that generally is a much needed relief for the parents.
However, this technique doesn’t teach the kid right from wrong. It solely teaches the kid to worry the consequences. The kid is then motivated to avoid getting caught instead.
Spanking your kid is like role modeling to your kid that he/she will resolve problems by violence.
Children who are spanked or punished, smacked or hit are more prone to fighting with other children. They're likely to become bullies and to use verbal/physical aggression to unravel disputes. Later in life, they're likely to result in delinquency, antisocial and criminal behavior, worse parent-child relationship, psychological or mental health problems and domestic violence victims or abusers.
There are a various ways of better alternatives to discipline that are tested and to be more practical, equivalent to positive discipline and positive reinforcement.
9. Keeping Perspective
What is you trying to achieve in raising your child?
If you’re like most folks, you would like your kid to try and do well in class, be productive, be accountable and independent, enjoy meaningful relationships with you and others, be caring and compassionate, and have a contented, healthy and fulfilling life.
But how much proportion of time does one’s need to spend to achieve those goals?
If you’re like most folks, you almost certainly spend most of the time simply making
through the day.
To not let the survival mode, dominate your life, next time if you are feeling angry or pissed off, step back.
Think about what anger and frustration can do for you or your kid. Instead, realize ways that to show each negative expertise into a learning chance for him/her. Even epic tantrums may be changed into priceless brain-sculpting moments.
Doing these won't solely assist you keep a healthy perspective, however you're conjointly functioning on one amongst your primary goals in parenting — building a decent relationship together with your kid.
10. Taking shortcut, the scientific way
By shortcuts, I don’t mean shortchanging your kid. What I mean is to take advantage of what area already identified by scientists.
Parenting is one amongst most researched fields in psychology.
Many parenting practices or traditions are scientifically researched, verified, refined or refuted.
Using scientific knowledge is by no means a one-size fits all strategy. Each kid is totally different. You'll be able to and may adjust your parenting style accordingly.
For example, besides spanking, there are several better alternatives, such as redirection, reasoning, removing privileges, time-in, time-out, etc. You can opt for the non-punitive discipline technique that works best for your kid.
Of course, if you opt to use “traditional” philosophies (like spanking) and should still get a similar outcome (temporarily). However why risk the damages a number of the sub-par practices that might produce temporary results when there’re well researched, higher ones?
Taking these “shortcuts” might need additional work on your part within the short-run, however it can save you lots of time and agony end of the day.